Life of Brian, Scene 7

Scene 7 from the movie Life of Brian is the funniest commentary on splits and sectarianism on the left that has made it to the movies. If you haven't seen Monty Python's Life of Brian, I encourage you to go rent or buy it and watch it immediately.
edit: or you can see the video of this scene online here (thanks to red scare for the link)

Here is the dialogue from the infamous Scene 7:
(reprinted from here)

Scene 7

Brian meets the P.F.J. [People's Front of Judea] at the forum

[trumpets]
[clap clap clap]
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen. The next contest is between... Frank Goliath, the Macedonian baby-crusher, and Boris Mineburg.
BRIAN:
Want some...
VOICE:
Thank you, fellows.
BRIAN:
Larks' tongues. Wrens' livers. Chaffinch brains. Jaguars' earlobes. Wolf nipple chips. Get 'em while they're hot. They're lovely. Dromedary pretzels, only half a denar. Tuscany fried bats.
JUDITH:
I do feel, Reg, that any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.
REG:
Agreed. Francis?
FRANCIS:
Yeah. I think Judith's point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man--
STAN:
Or woman.
FRANCIS:
Or woman... to rid himself--
STAN:
Or herself.
FRANCIS:
Or herself.
REG:
Agreed.
FRANCIS:
Thank you, brother.
STAN:
Or sister.
FRANCIS:
Or sister. Where was I?
REG:
I think you'd finished.
FRANCIS:
Oh. Right.
REG:
Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man--
STAN:
Or woman.
REG:
Why don't you shut up about women, Stan. You're putting us off.
STAN:
Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
FRANCIS:
Why are you always on about women, Stan?
STAN:
I want to be one.
REG:
What?
STAN:
I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
REG:
What?!
LORETTA:
It's my right as a man.
JUDITH:
Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
LORETTA:
I want to have babies.
REG:
You want to have babies?!
LORETTA:
It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
REG:
But... you can't have babies.
LORETTA:
Don't you oppress me.
REG:
I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!
LORETTA:
[crying]
JUDITH:
Here! I-- I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies.
FRANCIS:
Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.
REG:
What's the point?
FRANCIS:
What?
REG:
What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!
FRANCIS:
It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
REG:
Symbolic of his struggle against reality.
[trumpets]
[clap clap clap]
GUARD:
Get out there.
BORIS:
It's, um--
GUARD:
Get out there.
BORIS:
It's dangerous out there. Ah ah. Ah! Oh.
[clap clap clap]
[clank]
Ooh.
CROWD:
Aaah. Ohh...
SPECTATOR:
What a load of rubbish.
BRIAN:
Larks' tongues. Otters' noses. Ocelot spleens.
REG:
Got any nuts?
BRIAN:
I haven't got any nuts. Sorry. I've got wrens' livers, badgers' spleens--
REG:
No, no, no.
BRIAN:
Otters' noses?
REG:
I don't want any of that Roman rubbish.
JUDITH:
Why don't you sell proper food?
BRIAN:
Proper food?
REG:
Yeah, not those rich imperialist tit-bits.
BRIAN:
Well, don't blame me. I didn't ask to sell this stuff.
REG:
All right. Bag of otters' noses, then.
FRANCIS:
Make it two.
REG:
Two.
FRANCIS:
Thanks, Reg.
BRIAN:
Are you the Judean People's Front?
REG:
Fuck off!
BRIAN:
What?
REG:
Judean People's Front. We're the People's Front of Judea! Judean People's Front. Cawk.
FRANCIS:
Wankers.
BRIAN:
Can I... join your group?
REG:
No. Piss off.
BRIAN:
I didn't want to sell this stuff. It's only a job. I hate the Romans as much as anybody.
PEOPLE'S FRONT OF JUDEA:
Shhhh. Shhhh. Shhh. Shh. Shhhh.
REG:
Schtum.
JUDITH:
Are you sure?
BRIAN:
Oh, dead sure. I hate the Romans already.
REG:
Listen. If you really wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans.
BRIAN:
I do!
REG:
Oh, yeah? How much?
BRIAN:
A lot!
REG:
Right. You're in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People's Front.
P.F.J.:
Yeah...
JUDITH:
Splitters.
P.F.J.:
Splitters...
FRANCIS:
And the Judean Popular People's Front.
P.F.J.:
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Splitters. Splitters...
LORETTA:
And the People's Front of Judea.
P.F.J.:
Yeah. Splitters. Splitters...
REG:
What?
LORETTA:
The People's Front of Judea. Splitters.
REG:
We're the People's Front of Judea!
LORETTA:
Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.
REG:
People's Front! C-huh.
FRANCIS:
Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Reg?
REG:
He's over there.
P.F.J.:
Splitter!
GOLIATH:
[pant pant pant] Ooh. Ooh. I-- I think I'm about to have a... cardiac arrest. Ooh. Ooh.
SPECTATOR:
Absolutely dreadful. Hmm.
CROWD:
[cheering]
REG:
Yes, brother! Ha ha. What's your name?
BRIAN:
Brian. Brian Cohen.
REG:
We may have a little job for you, Brian.